Why is hate so easy?

It's February, the month of love, heart health and of course, it's Black History Month. In an unplanned coincidence, I'm also reading The Help by Kathryn Stockett and I find myself gripping my kindle with tachycardia as I'm reading her pages. I couldn’t help but feel surges of fear for the people in the book, I felt indignation that someone could be treated so poorly and in the end I had to come to terms with the fact that this is the history of the country I’ve lived in for so long and come to love. It’s not so different from the history and present day reality of my own country and others in the world.

Racism takes many ugly forms and the main question I am left with is:

Why is hatred so easy for people to feel? Why is it so easy for it to embed itself in society?

I’ve wondered this most of my life. I don’t seem to understand why it’s easy to hate things that are different, to place people into categories based on arbitrary traits and assign qualify them based on these simple things, things that no one can control. Who decided that being black meant something negative?

I wonder if people realize what they generate with such judgments. African slavery took place in the “New World” for over 400

hundred years, marking an entire race of people for generations to come.

Modern day racism is based on something visual, on the most basic of human traits. It’s not based on the integrity of a human being, on their thoughts or their actions.

The book takes place in the 1960’s in a post slavery world where black women mostly worked as maids in southern homes, raising white children. It explores the difficult relationships between the white families and the help. Stockett gives us an insight into a black woman raising and loving the white child of her employer, knowing that one day this girl will grow to be just like the world that surrounds her, racist.

It amazes me how today I can still hear people make racist comments in front of their children, staining them with this ugly sentiment that has never brought anything positive in the world. It’s just perpetuated separation, ingraining poverty, poor education that’s further fueled by a broken system that doesn’t provide neglected populations with the tools they need to surpass their history.

In spite of all of this, the African American community has provided us some of the most impressive professionals, artists, politicians, humanitarians, athletes and scholars. Just goes to show how resilient human beings can be. I celebrate Black History Month with pride in supporting another minority community and hoping that one day humans can find a way to forget hate and move forward without fear of the unknown.

Ladies, get it right!

It's Valentines Day! On my article on Latinblah, Dating101,  I focused on the gentlemen, so this post is for the ladies.

For all those women who are alone on V-Day and are wondering why,  here are some of the things women do that send men running for the hills:

Talk about the X
I'm not sure why people do this. It's OK that you had a life before you met your knew love interest, but must you remind them constantly that they're not the first to have you? Men are territorial creatures that don't like to share. They don't want to know all of the good or terrible things your ex-man used to do to you. It makes them insecure about how they stack up. It makes them think you're stuck in the past and to the very least, makes them question how you will express yourself about him.

Build the Castle
In general, women dream about the prince who will sweep them off their feet and bring the fairy tale to life. It's easy for them to start building the castle as soon as they meet a new candidate for "prince-hood." They project their hopes and dreams onto this poor unsuspecting bloke and make the terrible mistake of sharing that projection... in the first week. This will terrify any man. They don't know you yet. Before they don't know what an amazing woman you are and you come off as a nut job/husband hunter. They have no idea it's not really about them. She's just dreaming about prince charming regardless of who he is.


Whine
Nobody likes a whiner. It's annoying, at best, and nobody wants to be around someone annoying. If you don't like something be proactive and change it! PLEASE!


Try to change them

It's the most futile effort you'll make and you'll end up frustrated and bitter. Men are creatures of habit and it is hard for people, in general, to change. The motivation has to come from within. Love him for who he is or leave him and find someone suitable to your desires.


Gossip
OK, let's be realistic. Women gossip, it is fun, it is part of the way they bond; but if you tell your girlfriends everything then they will KNOW EVERYTHING. They will know the good, the bad and the ugly and then one of a few things will happen: they will hate him for being an ass or they will covet him because you oversold him. Only you two know what's happening and while advice can help, keep some things private. Respect his secrets, he trusted you with them and you want him to keep doing that.

Now some of the things you should do to keep your relationship happy and healthy!

Communicate your expectations
If men could read our minds they'd be women and then all women would be lesbians. Women expect a lot (because of the a fore mentioned castle that was built) and men can't even remotely begin to conceive what it is they REALLY want. If you want flowers tell him "Honey, I love it when you bring me flowers." At least give him a heads-up and say you're expecting something special. They're not intuitive like women re. When they ask you if you want something for your birthday, don't say "nothing" and then be upset if that's what you get. Speak and they will listen, if they don't, then you kick some butt.


Keep it up!
I said this to the men and it applies to the ladies too. Don't let yourself go. I see so many women that don't do even 70% of the things they used to do when the first met the men they're with. Being in a relationship with someone doesn't mean you're automatically safe. He's not yours, you're borrowing him from God (or the Universe, which ever you believe in). You have to earn his love and attention everyday, just like he has to earn yours. Long term relationships are made by falling in love with someone over and over again. How did you fall in love the first time? Do you remember all the efforts you made to get him. Make similar efforts to keep him. Do you hair, your nails, exercise, take pride in yourself. It will make you feel confident and it will remind him of the woman he fell in love with. Not to mention that confidence is sexy!

Love is not easy to find or maintain. Be true, be good and respect yourselves and each other. If you do that you'll at least have peace and caring in your life regardless of who you're with.

Happy love day everyone!

Legalicen a los inmigrantes antes que la marihuana

En el proceso de recuperar la economía americana que ha estado en el suelo desde el 2008, se rumora que el gobierno federal ha considerado varias opciones para aminorar el problema. Entre estas opciones está la de legalizar la marihuana.

Sin condenar esta opción me pregunto...

¿Por qué no legalizar a los inmigrantes primero?

  VS.   

El legalizar la marihuana traería aproximadamente $6.7 billones en ingresos fiscales, si se usa el mismo porcentaje de impuesto el de el tabaco y el alcohol, estima un estudio de Harvard University. Esto es sin contar que se ahorraría un aproximado de $7.7 billones anuales, que fue lo que se gastó el gobierno en el 2001 en la guerra contra las personas que la trafican y la consumen, según Marijuana Policy Project,. En comparación, UCLA mantiene que los inmigrantes ilegales que residen en este país constituyen el 5% de la fuerza laboral, el 4% de los hogares - que son 3 millones de habitantes y que producen $150 billones en actividad economica cada año. El IRS estima que aproximadamente 60 millones (50 - 75%) de ilegales pagan impuestos. ¿Qué pasaría si a estas personas las legalizaran y todos pagaran impuestos sobre sus ingresos?

Si hablamos estrictamente de un punto económico, creo que tenemos una solución mucho mas rentable. Esto es sin siquiera considerar el factor humano.

Estas personas vienen de paises lejanos a trabajar, muchas veces en condiciones infrahumanas, para sustentar a sus familias y aspirar a una vida mejor. Me preocupa de sobremanera que seguimos permitiendo que esto suceda. Dejamos que sigan difamando a los inmigrantes y mientras son explotados por muchos de sus empleadores.

Así perpetuamos la existencia de un sistema paralelo que existe por debajo del radar el gobierno americano. Ellos existen en un mundo donde no conocen sus derechos y los que sí los conocen, le tienen pavor a defenderlos por las consecuencias que esto les pudiese traer.

Los dejo con 2 poemas. El primero lo escribio Martin Niemoller un pastor y teólogo alemán en el año 1945. El segundo lo escribí yo a los 19 años.


Poema del Holocausto


Cuando los nazis buscaron a los comunistas
me callé
porque yo no era comunista.

Cuando encarcelaron a los socialdemócratas
me callé
porque yo no era socialdemócrata.

Cuando buscaron a los católicos
no protesté
porque yo no era católico.

Cuando me buscaron a mí
ya no había nadie
que pudiera protestar.

Martin Niemöller

Desperation of a Nation

In the desperation of our nation

We look for answers,

Within our souls,

In the eyes of those

In charge of direction.

We sit back and let the ones,

Who dictate our lives

Take what we’ve paid for

And in silence we accept

The rules set by those

Who stole our dreams

Replacing them with their

Own idea of what we really want

That American dream

We hear so much about

Is painted on our faces

As we are branded

Upon entrance

Coming from our own

Loyalties and anthems

We rise

Looking or a way out

We leave our countries

Searching for hope

We let got of our own

Nation’s desperation

So what do you say to the ones

Who have invited us over,

Saying, “Give me your poor,

 Give me your hungry…”

To now stomp on our dreams

 And send us away?

You say what we’ve all said,

“We are coming,

With our language and culture

Under our arm, not afraid

Ready to fight,

And willing to live.

I.D. 2-26-03