Ladies, get it right!

It's Valentines Day! On my article on Latinblah, Dating101,  I focused on the gentlemen, so this post is for the ladies.

For all those women who are alone on V-Day and are wondering why,  here are some of the things women do that send men running for the hills:

Talk about the X
I'm not sure why people do this. It's OK that you had a life before you met your knew love interest, but must you remind them constantly that they're not the first to have you? Men are territorial creatures that don't like to share. They don't want to know all of the good or terrible things your ex-man used to do to you. It makes them insecure about how they stack up. It makes them think you're stuck in the past and to the very least, makes them question how you will express yourself about him.

Build the Castle
In general, women dream about the prince who will sweep them off their feet and bring the fairy tale to life. It's easy for them to start building the castle as soon as they meet a new candidate for "prince-hood." They project their hopes and dreams onto this poor unsuspecting bloke and make the terrible mistake of sharing that projection... in the first week. This will terrify any man. They don't know you yet. Before they don't know what an amazing woman you are and you come off as a nut job/husband hunter. They have no idea it's not really about them. She's just dreaming about prince charming regardless of who he is.


Whine
Nobody likes a whiner. It's annoying, at best, and nobody wants to be around someone annoying. If you don't like something be proactive and change it! PLEASE!


Try to change them

It's the most futile effort you'll make and you'll end up frustrated and bitter. Men are creatures of habit and it is hard for people, in general, to change. The motivation has to come from within. Love him for who he is or leave him and find someone suitable to your desires.


Gossip
OK, let's be realistic. Women gossip, it is fun, it is part of the way they bond; but if you tell your girlfriends everything then they will KNOW EVERYTHING. They will know the good, the bad and the ugly and then one of a few things will happen: they will hate him for being an ass or they will covet him because you oversold him. Only you two know what's happening and while advice can help, keep some things private. Respect his secrets, he trusted you with them and you want him to keep doing that.

Now some of the things you should do to keep your relationship happy and healthy!

Communicate your expectations
If men could read our minds they'd be women and then all women would be lesbians. Women expect a lot (because of the a fore mentioned castle that was built) and men can't even remotely begin to conceive what it is they REALLY want. If you want flowers tell him "Honey, I love it when you bring me flowers." At least give him a heads-up and say you're expecting something special. They're not intuitive like women re. When they ask you if you want something for your birthday, don't say "nothing" and then be upset if that's what you get. Speak and they will listen, if they don't, then you kick some butt.


Keep it up!
I said this to the men and it applies to the ladies too. Don't let yourself go. I see so many women that don't do even 70% of the things they used to do when the first met the men they're with. Being in a relationship with someone doesn't mean you're automatically safe. He's not yours, you're borrowing him from God (or the Universe, which ever you believe in). You have to earn his love and attention everyday, just like he has to earn yours. Long term relationships are made by falling in love with someone over and over again. How did you fall in love the first time? Do you remember all the efforts you made to get him. Make similar efforts to keep him. Do you hair, your nails, exercise, take pride in yourself. It will make you feel confident and it will remind him of the woman he fell in love with. Not to mention that confidence is sexy!

Love is not easy to find or maintain. Be true, be good and respect yourselves and each other. If you do that you'll at least have peace and caring in your life regardless of who you're with.

Happy love day everyone!